The Anand Pattern

This would be the longest stretch when I stayed away blog, since I started blogging, but it's like that, and that's the way it is. First I was stranded, disconnected at a village for the induction program, for a while, which now seems like pretty comfortable setting.. sigh. Then, once I touched base at IRMA, things got hectic, and I didn't have a internet connectivity for a while. Now that things have more or less settled, it's about time I resume blogging. It was always my dream to blog from my hostel room of something called as a leading Rural management institute in western India, a rural(not poor) cousin of leading B school in western India.

First things first, IRMA and the neighbourhood, looks totally amazing from air, waiting for some rains to make the green look greener. From my train, I could not gawk at the so called b'ful and developed villages of Gujarat(now everything in my life revolves around village), ! Then we hit the ground (pun intended). Let's just say, for someone new to the city, it's not very tough to not like the city, its an ideal kind of city, one copy(store) of Big bazaar, fame cinemas, dominos, ccd, levi's store, reebok and few other brands, and of course a lot of Amul parlours, surely doodh ki nadiya behti jaaye. The area neighbouring IRMA, is very similar to campus, an agricultural university, NDDB campus, not so unimpressive to say the least. However, the campus is breathtaking with its lush greenery and mesmerising chimes .

My hostel room, I found is more comfortable than the room I had in engineering days. It's not bigger, but surely better planned and it has a balcony which opens to the patch of green behind my hostel. I haven't clicked snaps of the campus, but I intend to do that pretty soon. The city Anand, essentially the multiplex is not light years away from the campus but it requires a big hole in pocket to make it to there. Till now I've been there only once, and even then it was disappointing as we couldn't catch any chic! The movie buff in me is still very pleased to be here; the LAN is virtually full of movies! My new 250 GB external HDD might getting full to the brim, is looking like a possibility.

The academic load looks (un)manageable. I have eight courses, all of them (un)interesting. Exception being the Organisational Behaviour (IGB) course, which has interesting mix of Psychological studies in it, pretty impressive! Then there is rural Economic and polity and few others, which is also pretty tough to study. Midterms are still (just?) 3 weeks away and things are chill (as I say here).

I guess, I'll start with such banal posts; it should take time to get back the flow for blogging :-)

Bill gates bachaao!!

What is common between Shashi Tharoor-Saurav Ganguly-RamGopal Varma-KKR cheerleaders-SW engineers/I Bankers who lost their job and 245000 CAT applicants and me?

We all are at home and somebody may be busy tweeting, eating Rossugullas, or making Phoonk 3, 4, 5….n yes they will be released on same day, telling people what are hedge funds and how risky they are, or pagalguying, I decided to give my fingers a chance to perform Dance India dance on keyboard.

P.S. Match the coloumn khel –lo

A lot of people are telling me to “Enjoy!! for these days will never come again"

These never coming back days once came after class 10, 12, final year engineering . But that reminds me of some days which actually never come back, childhood J

Nevermind, chalo ateet ki yaadon me.

Sann Unneeess sau tiryaasee (1983) ki baat hai july ki zaalim garmi ka maheena. A baby boy was ushered into this world at about 10 'o clock in the night probably crying loud enough to piss off gabbar who resided some 50 miles away. After all it’s the momma's job to tell me that unless I kept quiet gabbar aa jaayega. Well months rolled by and I grew into a pretty normal kid who thought his thumb was god's candy and the soil in the backyard was Ben & jerry's raw material, so I hogged on it. Once I interacted with a sophisticated Huggies-model type kid when my mom took me to his place:

Oh.. ok..arey yaar mere ko chunnu bata raha tha ki huggies ke ad ke liye tere ko ek room me nanga daudaya tha??.." i chuckled

"..*cold sigh* ..yaar when u turn a professional you have to live with it....thoda expose to karna hi padta hai industry me bane rehne ke liye. u know"

"oye tinku ab mera poo-poo time ho gaya....door hat jaa"

"Gawd tu abhi bhi kapda use karta hai nappy ke liye....disgusting!!"

"uwaaaaaan uu uu uwaaaaaaaaaaaaan" I raised the alarm for my momma to clean up the mess

One day while crawling in my walker, I hit the wall and fell, it was followed by what else but crying non-stop. When the in-house recipes failed to alleviate my pain, the ped was called. But in vain as even after a week of medication the pain and the associated worries won't go. The family pediatrician referred the case to a neurosurgeon.

"Kahee koi serious baat to nahee hai naa" my mum asked the family ped.

"Ghabraaiye nahee..aap mil lijiye ek baar doctor ramesh chandra se.." the stiff lipped family doc had nothing more .


"Dekhiye maine dawaaiya likh di hain bas bacche ko sir me chot mat lagne dijyega, aur haan jab ye 6 saal ka ho jaaye tab isko school me daaliyega, jyada pressure mat daaliyega iske dimaag pe.." and he closed the case with these final words.

“Was their first born child mentally unfit?? Will he be able to cope with his studies??” Questions whose answers were written on the wings of time, and the rest followed. A meagre class 10, a forgetable 12 and pathetic graduation to make the matters worse….dimaag mein chot aayi thi, abhi bhi lakshan paaye jaate hain. This post is an example.

Kuchh Saal Baad, sann unnis sau baanwe

Remembering those Sundays with DD1 when I was a cute(koi shaque) little kid, makes me 250gm nostalgic. The very slow news for the hearing impared, Atal bihari vajpayee was a news reader there I suppose

We kids used to assemble in front of the recently purchased colour TV at sharp 8 o clock in the morning. Just after a quick bath, Eyes were fixed on the TV set.
After noting down tips on how to nourish your gerberas and various other phool-patti on the show 'Ankur' and then braving 'Gurubaani' we came to know every Sunday ki "Jungle jungle kyaa baat chali hai, chaddi pehen ke phool khila hai". The magical world of mowgli, bageera, bhaalu and akdu-pakdu. :p

Excerpts:-

Bageera : Tumhe pata hai mowgli !! sarpanch ne kaha hai iss baar shikaar jyada nahee milne se sherkhaan se khatra badh gaya hai.
Bhaalu : Haa mujhe bhi cheel ne bataya sherkhaan aajkal nadee ke aas-paas ghoom raha hai!!
Mowgli: (who's staring at the lake) Uhhh...hmmm..
"Mowgleeeeeeeeee!! bandaro ne pakdu par humla kar diyaaaaaa" pappu is frantic.

*POWER CUT*

"kuttttte" I screamed. There was a look of horror on the faces of my cousins. Sure the word "kutta" and its derivatives were forbidden in our house. The 'F' word was yet to replace the K word for expressing deep disgust or unparallel pleasure. And then my dear mommy came armed with her spatula to sizzle my baby bum.

"Who said that ????" Mum was furious

All the cousins pointed their fingers like zombies , at poor moi. It seems they hadn't heard of "anguli-maal" daaku(a mythical dacoit who used to cut away fingers of his prey), they were nourishing one right in their house.

***Back from Ateet ki yaadein***

In this season of IPL(Indo-Pak Love), I could get hold of secret chat between two cheerleaders of Mumbai Indians, who joined MI this year after their two year stint at Delhi Daredevils.

CL1: Haye ree behen humaari to kismat hee kharaab hai, iss saal naukri badli aur issi saal yahaan itna kaam hai….meri to jaan nikal gayee hai behen.

CL2 : Sach behen, ye Naaspeeta Pollard itna nachata hai ki kamar toot gayi. Aaj ghar jaake meri kamar pe thodi see iodex laga deo, choor choor ho rakhi hai.

CL1: Isse acche to hum bar mein hee thi, naachna bhi kam, aur kamaai bhi zyada thi…yahaanto chhichhori public nacha nacha ke maar deti hai, aur ek futtee kaudi nahi deti.

CL2: Sach behen. Accha Chameli se poochh to agar KKR mein koi jagah hai!

Zee cinema is about to show a movie, some random early nineties' movie. Gladly Mithun is feature in the casting. That is a good enough reason for me to watch the movie. So me now pulling up with the movie. Details about the movie will not be posted in the next post

The ladies toilets in delhi are safe

Blogging is like making an STD call of early 90’s.  Both the things are easier to do at night. While lower calling rates bag it for the STD calls , a more silent and peaceful room & comfortable of laptop makes blogging better at night.

 

But this post will see the “light of the day”

 

With all due respect, to KKR fans, exploited software engineers (these guys have to be here, with or without any reason) and other troubled souls of the nation, I am living a life that can be termed as an exaggeration (or exasperation) of contented life. Infact, I have always enjoyed my circumstances. But things are easiest these days . The workload is equivalent to frequency of commercial breaks in a repeat telecast of a shehnai show on doordarshan, or lesser only. In a nutshell, am as busy as Regional manager of Antarctica branch of carrier Aircon  (Bacha log, notice the surrogate advertising)

 

And, after a lot of struggle & seena jhapti, I am able to get the screening of DDLJ at near multiplex. Yeh strike bhi abhi honi thi.

 

Watching Old Hindi movies is a bliss in itself, Thanks to Zee classic & Zee premier, I have got a strong hold on “Royal-Republican” Hindi movies & now I feel myself compatible to create a new field of interest on Mastermind India & win it too. I strongly feel that if there are two things good for my heart, they are saffola cooking oil and Hindi movies. These movies do not trouble my heart with unsuspected twists and unexpected endings. They are so obvious. Take my favorite case, most probably will be yours too, the rape scenes are invariably interrupted by the hero who comes crashing in through some expensive glass door, or Honest school teachers are usually killed by the bad guy while the teacher's kid hides behind a flower pot and takes a colored mental photograph of the killer for future revenge. (Definitely not my favorite, but its better to highlight more than one example)…phew…my posts are so self-explanatory.

 

Thanks to “prastut hai Hindi fatichar film”, every Saturday on doordarshan, I have grown up seeing Sunny deol planting his "dhaai kilo kaa haath"  & Akshay –UNBUTTONED-Kumar..then the khilaadi boy...cooing pervert numbers with thigh baring girls and sending the toned and muscular gundaas flying with his karate kicks...I remember once I kicked the door after I was back from school...Mum heard the loud bang...Two slaps later I was as calm as Gurudutt silently scribbling my homework...

 

Mithun the messiah..he has to be here!

Although he deserves a separate post, but now I plan to write a book on him, and  due to royalty issues with the publisher, am just giving this messiah a modest tribute. This one goes for you….

 

Last week, it was a lucky Sunday: After gulping down huge quantity of lunch, as I turned on to the Z-Premier, guess who it was, It was Gunda. I can just say one line about this movie

““There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who have seen “Gunda”. And those who shall see it.”

 

No prizes for guessing my category!

 

Overview of movie: The mid 90s were marked by great intellectual ferment and socio-political change in India. With unbridled economic liberalisation strengthening the unholy faction of politicians and moneyed ruffian, the nation witnessed fundamental transformations —a fact that was being systematically overlooked by popular escapist entertainment which minted money through vacuous NRI romances, forgetting its solemn duty to be the mirror of its times. …samjhe!!!

 

The movie is an unforgettable struggle of Shanker, a coolie in an airport is a hard-working Indian man forced to balance time between an overweight girl friend, an even fatter sister, an overacting father, alcoholic friends and a pet monkey who can drive a car. It is Shankar and his family that is crushed underneath the “system” of the 90s. The system that was corrupted by Bulla, the main evil & his gang comprising of Pote (Pote—jo aapne baap ki bhi naheen hote), Chutiya, (Bulla’s hermaphrodite brother who is kept alive through a steady supply of “London se sex ki goliyan” in the hope that he becomes a “mard” or man), Ibu Hatela (Meranaam Ibu Hatela, Ma meri chudail ki beti, baap mera shaitan ka chela, khayega kela?”), Inspector Kale (iske yaad nahi :P) & last but not the least kafan chor neta” (Dilli se billi ka dudh peeke aaya hain)

 

Am sure, you guys are now cannot afford to be in first or second category of people. Watch Gunda. Again and again. There has never been a movie like this before. Trust me. There never will be one like this again.

 

 

 

 

Well Am running out of time, office hours are soon going to be over & for those who think, I can have a lot of K ka keedas in my blog, wish you an even worse reading.

 

The blog title still needs an explanation….phew…my blogs are so self explanatory