Heppy Fraandsheep day to aal of you barring a few (arey kyuki Valentine's day ka bhi tyohaar aane waala hai). Friendship day is the foundation for the house to be built whose housewarming is scheduled six months later on the valentine's day and subsequent "hum 2 se 3 ho gaye moment" 9 months later on the children's day.
Must say that we have really managed the national festivals of lovwwvwvwee & friendship with great care, such that within six months of friendship day, we have valentine’s day & exactly months after we have Children’s day. And as they say in the west "Happy friendship day, your place or mine?". Hum to phir bhi bahut peeche hai.
Take this…………….
"hello..hello unty ji Jyoti ghar par hai !!"
"kaun??"
"Jee mai uska classmate Sonu bol raha hu..aunty mujhe Jyoti ko 'haippee fraandship day' wish karna tha"
"Accha achaa tum wahee Sonu ho jisne last year bhi friendship day ke din phone kiya tha?"
"haan aunty mai wahee (Abhaga) Sonu hoon"
"Beta lagta hai iss ek saal me tum kuch khaas progress nahee kar paaye, abhi tak sirf friendship ke liye hi fight maar rahe ho"
"Haan aunty *sighs* beech me Valentine's day bhi nikal
"Dhyaan se beta, Raakhi bhi paas hi hai..kahee kuch apshagun naa ho jaaye"
"jarur jarur"
This is not me disguised as Sonu….mind ittt!!!!
Ab aagey….
The irony is, your best of friends will never call you or message you on this day except for those assholes who vanished from your social radar completely after college. And then on one fine friendship day they suddenly blip on your cell phone's inbox. if suppose you call them up (condition holds only if the long lost friend is remotely feminine) and ask their whereabouts they take a deep breath and say "Ab kya bataau yaar.....maar rakhi hai".
Anyways, the concept of this very day, which the movie "kuch kuch hota hai" gave birth in to the minds of the youth (opportunist cum frustrated bavaayez), gives every frustoo like me a chance to break the ice-berg between any closest good looking object of the opposite sex.
EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE
The news channels are no less. I’ve got this confidential news that Aaj tak has signed an MoU with Aspirin. (I am waiting for any channel which signs it with Viagra haah!!).Just have a look at an instance of the prime time news bulletin on Aaj tak on this (inter)national festival of fraandship
Sanjay: "Aaiye hum aap ko le chalte hai vishvidyalay jahan humaare samvaad daata deepak chaurasia maujood hai"
" haa deepak kyaa aap hamey sun sakte hai"
(Deepak is on screen and he is as blank as laloo's 10th board answer sheet)
"Deepak aapko humaaree awaaz aa rahee hai...deepak"
Deepak : "...haa sanjay boliye"
(People behind Deepak desperate to come on TV are waving as if stranded on an island for ten years and trying to signal a far off ship in sight)
"Deepak iss wakt wahaa fraandseep day ki kaaafi gehma gehmi hogi.kyaa mahaul hai iss wakt wahaa par??"
“Sanjay jaisaa ki hum sab ko pataa hai.aaj fraandseep day hai, to aaj yahaan diwali jaisa mahul hai…ladke naye naye kapde pehen kar motorcyclon pe chakker kaat rahe hain
TURRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!! a scooter passes by and deepak is interrupted…
With renewed energy he speaks up
”Apko bataa du ki iss baar chaman chaiwale ne isspecial chocolates evam mithayion ka prabandh kiya hai aur sajaawat ke liye 5 kilo phool bhi mangaaye gaye hai aur gaur karne waali baat ye hai ki phool bilkul Phreshh hai…special pandaal lagaaye gayein hai…..pandaal banaane me kaamdhenu sariyaa(iron rods) istemaal kiya gaya hai”
Then suddenly the camera shifts to Sanjay in the studio when he comes to know of the fact that he is on-air and he has nothing to speak and Deepak on the other side is…….. Sanjay is speechless and his face is like as if he has pissed in his pants.
Deepak : “…..aapko bata dein ki twinke beauty parlour pe aaj facial ke liye line lagi hui hai, ek ladki jo abhi wahaan se facial kara ke aayi hai…...chaliye unse hi poochhte hai ki wo kaisaa mehsoos kar rahee hai”
Deepak: “devi ji .bataaiye aap facial karaakar kaisaa mehsus kar rahee hai??”
Deepak trying to shove the microphone up her nostrils.
” bataaiye … bataaiye…… bataaiye….” deepak struggling.
And immediately the telecast is switched to the studio cameras and Sanjay sitting there says in a hurried tone.
“Chaliye ab chalte hai Raakhi saawant ke paas jo ye maang kar rahee hai ki item numbers ka bhi oscar nomination honaa chahiye..”
"Ab kya bataau yaar.....maar rakhi hai"
