29 Jul 2010

Pangas & Dangas -Monthly Report I

You know, all the pangas you face in this life, from a quarrel with the subjiwala over the rates of tinda to dropping your cellphone in a drain, can be classified in three distinct categories, ascending in order of their gravity.

The smallest and most chindi sort of pangas are those where your sneaky boss sneaks up from behind, while you are chatting with pinkbunny_89 on the office system. Not very dangerous, if you remain as calm as a dead rabbit and tell the boss that the client from SF likes to discuss project requirements under the guise of pinkbunny_89 due to 'security reasons'.

Then there is the little more jaanleva category of pangas, when, a month later than the aforementioned incident involving your boss and miss pinkbunny_89, your sneaky boss again sneaks up on you, and catches you chatting with pinkbunny_89 while the client from SF is on the phone with the boss. Still manaeagable, I would say, if you can put on a facial expression as wooden as John Abraham’s, and say to your boss, 'Pinkbunny_89 is NOT our client from SF? …Pinkbunny_89 is not? Well Sir….what can I say..…”

But then, there is the biggest sort of panga, big enough to wipe out the dinosaurs upto the last inch of their tails, the sort of panga which happens when one warm evening after the aforementioned incidents with pinkbunny_89, the sneaky boss sneaks into his daughter's room as she works on the computer, looks over her shoulder and makes the discovery that she has a rather girly chat id called pinkbunny_89, while you are merrily sending her rather disturbing emoticons from the other side. This panga gives a sense of enjoyment and achievemnt,the feel of accomplishment. I believe sleeping in exam while writing answer and spilling saliva on your answer sheet, all the pinkbunny_89 & shrewd boss seems like ***phew***

On this holy night, trying to put together a write-up is as arduous as trying to whitewash the campus building with a toothbrush. Seriously, what a generous these last days did to me is what Narco-analysis does to stock, naked truth is outcome! To add to it a few sleepless nights ensured that matters are now worse and writing of any new word(in answer sheet) , after exerting Newtons of weight on tiny eyelids, the waft of sleep intoxicates, slowly decapitating you of your senses and the result is a horrible answer and so on. Being in such a state, expecting something intelligible to escape from the keyboard to the laptop-screen is highly improbable, and the article looks more like a result of an extended session of FIFA-play, while your word document was open. Tackle-LongPass-Shoot-PublishBlog.

CAMPUS MUSINGS

IP

Honestly speaking I am not clear about what this stands for (am a poor production guy), but it’s a chat tool on LAN (ye to pata hai :P ), at 4 in the morning, there are some non intellectual guys who instead of posting a meaningful blog chat with the guy who sits next to them in class, but are not able to talk, because of busy (sleeping) schedules. I could poke into one of the chat of two guys at IP. The excerpts are

X (Looks like 33, is 24 , his block is miles away from gals block)

X: "Kya re, you dont spend long hours talking on your cellphone these days. Hope all is well between you and airtel guys? "

Y: " Yeah I am just back frm a movie with the airtel CEO".

X : "Ok yaar seriously , we dont find you spending long hours roaming around the hostel , on phone with that shy smile pasted on your face .Is everything fine ? "

Y : "Yeah life is beautiful.I messed up things between me and her."

X (with the expression Ramsay brothers would love to capture) : Oh shit.Shit shit shit. How did this happen ? "

Y:"Angelina Jolie proposed to me and I left her."

X : "Its ok man. Just come to my room some time. A chilled beer and you would feel better."

Y : "I feel fine. And I don't drink."

X (Ramsay brothers’ expression recreated): "you dont still! You are a kid! And after what you have been through, you have to drink!”

Rains:

Oh,now I can see real dark clouds through the window .Baras Jaa pyaare Megha .( Non Hindi guys : Shed some water dear cloud ).

A couple of days earlier , as me and a friends were returning after mocking a quiz , god decided to pee .It started to rain. Since no umbrella company's distribution channel reached the spot where we were caught, we had to run towards the library and get in there. I have watched a lot of hindi movies over my years. Escape the rain on a stormy evening and take shelter in a big ancient looking construction, there is a 72% chance you shall be greeted by a shaky lamp wielding "Ramu Kaka" who has been dead for the last twenty or so years. But not being in a movie, it’s a mournful documentary(I think there are no happy documentaries), I was greeted by a grumpy watchman who looked at me like I was trying to smuggle three surface to air missiles and a couple of rifles into the library.(picked from an older post of mine)

Shame of Hunger:

The gourmet at mess provides enough opportunity to local and global players in food and beverage catering business (restaurant ka aisa naam suna hai kabhi) to burn a hole into students’ pocket as per their capabilities. While a few lucky ones have been eating a cheese burst pizza with oodles of toppings every day, few deprived are supposed to burp after chewing on fingernails.

GRINDS-uck

BOOZE PARTIES:

I dont wanna actually get drunk and grab my professor by his collar and shake him and yell "Why did you give me a C- , sir!!!."I dont wanna get drunk and grab the guy downstairs and shake him and yell "Why do you charge money from me when I take something from you , buddy ?? "

I may have missed something. There may be something great hidden within that bottle. A lotta people drink , and they feel good about it. My dad does not drink , most guys at institute(which is in dry state) drink , my uncle who spent 11 days in hospital with a liver problem due to drinking drinks, a lot of girls drink and Devdaas(and missed Aishwarya) drank. So something has to be there. And if there is, I can always lie to my mom.I can actually drink without letting her know. Then I may not spend the next hostel party walking around campus and writing some nonsense, while drunken guys go around ripping shirts, falling off tables and kissing each other. Any purpose drinking? Hic.Hic.

__

Need to wash off clothes now and clean my room and may be I am win the treasure hunt to win my lost spectacle!
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EOP